


and the soles of your shoes are all worn down

by patroclus



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Fingerfucking, Happy Ending, M/M, bucky's metal arm kink, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:13:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1433107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patroclus/pseuds/patroclus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, it’s not Steve who finds Bucky, but the other way around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and the soles of your shoes are all worn down

**Author's Note:**

> Was rushing to finish this before I fly off tonight, so it’s unbeta’d! I’ll read this through again when I get back, but I just had to post it because I have too many feels from watching Cap 2 ;___; Inspired by [this](http://stereowire.tumblr.com/post/81972193221/baby-im-gonna-leave-you-drowning-until-you-reach).
> 
> Title is from the amazing song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie!

In the end, it’s not Steve who finds Bucky, but the other way around.

Steve finds his friend standing stock-still in his apartment, staring Steve down as he opens the door. There’s something in his eyes that makes Steve’s heart ache, something that he’s seen when fighting him on the bridge and helicarrier, but never before even when they were fighting the war in the forties. It’s the look of someone who has seen too many a death, whose world has been engulfed in blood.

(He’s seen that look on Natasha sometimes.)

Steve should be worried, having an assassin in the middle of his home, but Bucky was -- and still _is_ \-- his friend, and somewhere on his way here, Bucky lost his armour, and a pair of baggy jeans and hoodie took its place, so he lets himself hope, just a little. He drops his bag to the floor and makes quick work of letting down the blinds in his house; SHIELD may not exist anymore, but he’s not taking any chances. He’s sure Bucky has already swept his place for any bugs as well.

“ _Bucky,_ ” Steve says at last, and he doesn’t mean for his voice to sound that desperate, that hollow.

Something in Bucky snaps, and he growls, rushing forward and slamming Steve against the wall. His hands grip Steve’s shoulders with so much force it would definitely bruise anyone else who didn’t have the Super-Soldier serum pumping through their blood, but Steve doesn’t flinch. He could have just as easily dodged, but he doesn’t, because he’s long decided to stop fighting this man.

(I _’m with you till the end of the line._ )

Instead, he meets Bucky’s stare head-on. Neither of them speak for a while, with Bucky’s heavy breathing being the only thing stopping them from falling into complete silence. Steve takes in the lines on his friend’s tired face, the messy locks of brown hair falling in front of him. His heart twinges again, because it’s been _so long._

There are so many things he wants to say to the man -- _I’ve missed you, I can’t believe you’re back, please stay this time_  -- but all he can manage is another, “Bucky,” before his throat closes up again.

Another low growl, and then Bucky lifts one hand to punch the wall beside Steve.

“I knew you,” Bucky says at last, voice gravelly from disuse. He’s staring at Steve’s feet now, but Steve can still see the furrowed brow, can still feel the slight tremor of his body.

“You did,” Steve agrees quietly.

Bucky takes in another shaky breath, silent again, and Steve is overwhelmed by a sudden wave of guilt. His mind flashes back to that day on the train, and he hates himself for not trying harder, for not reaching further for his friend. He glances at the metal hand sticking out from Bucky’s sleeve and he feels nauseous, thinking about the pain he must have been put through and all the murders he must have been forced to commit. Forced to, because he knows Bucky would never willing do any of the things the Winter Soldier has been ordered to do.

He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch his friend, so he does. Slowly, gently, he lifts his arm from his side to cup the side of Bucky’s face. Bucky’s metal arm snaps up almost immediately after, gripping Steve’s wrist, but he doesn’t push Steve’s arm back to his side. He lets Steve trace his fingers across his jaw, feeling the stubble there, cold metal merely lingering on Steve’s wrist, not tightening.

After a few minutes, Bucky breathes, “You loved me.”

Steve’s hand stills on Bucky’s face, and he realises Bucky is looking back at him again. His gaze is even more intense than usual, and for some reason, Steve thinks those words aren’t just a statement, but a question as well. Smiling slightly, Steve nods.

“I did,” Steve agrees again. Then it’s his turn to take in a deep breath. “I still do, Buck.”

Bucky frowns more at that, almost as though he can’t quite process Steve’s words properly, and Steve thinks, fuck it. He’s tired of carrying the regret of never telling Bucky how he felt while he was alive (or when Steve thought he was alive), and now that he’s finally, finally said it, he should do what he’s always wanted to do so many years ago.

Steve feels no resistance from the metal hand on his wrist when he sneaks his hand onto Bucky’s nape, and he has a brief second gaze back at his friend’s hard stare before he tugs Bucky forward, pressing their lips together.

Steve is too wrapped up in thinking _at last_ to notice how Bucky has gone tense and still in front of him at first, moving against the lips that he’s spent so many hours staring at and wondering they would feel and taste like against his own for so long. But when he finally does realise, he slows down, a heavy weight settling in his gut.

He’s about to pull away when Bucky groans and slides his hands to Steve’s waist, pulling their bodies closer until their flush against each other. Then Bucky starts kissing him back, lips parting to lick his way into Steve’s mouth, and Steve sighs into the kiss. Bucky kisses like he’s on another mission -- with ferocity and determination, as though the answers to all his questions are in Steve’s mouth. Steve lets Bucky do as he pleases, lets him lead the kiss, because he understands. Bucky hasn’t had any control of his life for the past fifty years, and Steve can’t do anything to change the past. But this? This he can give. He lets himself bask in Bucky’s heat, throwing his arms around Bucky’s neck and trying to pull the man even closer to him.

Steve tells himself it’s Bucky way of telling him _I loved you too_.

 

*

 

Somehow or another, they end up on Steve’s bed, clothes quickly slipping off on their way to the bedroom. Steve’s bed is small (he never expected to share it with anyone in this century), with hardly enough room for two people, but they manage. Steve is on his back and Bucky is on top of him, their bodies are covered in sweat as they grind their cocks together.

Steve is hard, painfully so, filled with so much want and _need_ , but he doesn’t want this to end. He wants more, so much more, to make up for the years they have lost, the lives they did not lead. So he reaches for Bucky’s metal arm that is definitely leaving bruises on his hips and pulls it up to his mouth. He looks straight at Bucky as he sucks two of the metal digits into his mouth, wanting to see his expression, watching him slow his thrusts against Steve.

“You--” Bucky begins, but he stops, and shakes his head, a frustrated sound slipping his lips. He looks almost hesitant for the first time he’s been in here, and Steve doesn’t miss the way Bucky’s eyes flicker angrily to his metal arm.

Steve isn’t even sure if Bucky can feel anything in his arm -- Bucky may be able to move it, but Steve doesn’t know enough about technology to know whether nerves can be recreated -- but this is _Bucky_  in front of him, and Steve wants to worship every part of his friend’s body, even the new ones. He continues to suck on the cold metal, swiping his tongue over Bucky’s fingers. The taste of metal isn’t very pleasant, but it’s bearable, and it’s worth it to see Bucky’s eyes cloud over with lust after a while.

Bucky brings another finger into Steve’s mouth, and Steve can’t help but moan. He makes sure to coat them liberally with his saliva, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks on them more. He tugs on Bucky’s arm when he thinks it’s enough, and Bucky pulls out easily, eyes still fixed on Steve. His gaze is almost questioning, and Steve can only pull him down for another kiss as he guides Bucky’s arm downwards and between his legs.

Bucky seems to understand that, and gently, he starts to push a slicked up finger into Steve. Steve has only ever done this to himself and only on rare occasions, so he’s almost unbearably tight and it takes like what feels like ages to coax a finger into him. But Bucky is patient, reverently so, despite all the force from earlier, and he manages to get Steve to relax enough for his whole finger to sink in.

Another cold finger teases his entrance, and Steve gasps. The feeling is starting to transition from uncomfortable but not painful to pleasure, and he feels himself involuntarily clench around Bucky, eliciting another groan from the man. Bucky leans forward, sucking bruises into his collarbone as he presses his second finger in.

“B-Bucky,” Steve gasps, as Bucky begins to scissor him so, so slowly. “ _Please_ \-- I need--”

This time, Bucky shushes him with a kiss, still taking his time. Eventually, two fingers become three and Steve finds his hips bucking upwards, desperate for friction. His cock red and hard against his stomach, and he doesn’t know much longer he can hold out.

Thankfully, Bucky doesn’t seem to want to draw it out any longer. He takes his own erection and Steve’s into his other hand and smears Steve’s precome over the both of them before he starts jerking them both off with fast strokes.

Steve moans loudly, thrusting into Bucky’s hand with reckless abandon. He’s needed this for years, decades, and now he’s so, so close--

“ _Steve,_ ” Bucky groans suddenly, just as his lovely fingers brush against something deep inside of him and that does it. Steve _wails_ , his world becoming white. He comes harder than he’s ever done is life, convulsing around Bucky’s fingers as he shoots come on the both of them. Bucky follows soon after, moaning as he starts fucking his fist even faster, pressing his forehead into the crook of Steve’s neck and shoulder as he comes.

Bucky slumps on Steve once he’s done, and Steve is too pleased with the contact to push him off. He wraps his hand around his friend, watching as Bucky’s eyes begin to droop, exhaustion creeping in. He makes sure Bucky is asleep before he presses another kiss to Bucky’s jaw and lets sleep claim him as well.

 

*

 

When Steve wakes up, he is alone, blanket draped over him. But he finds a new number saved in his phone soon enough, saved under “B”.

Steve smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with the idea that Steve has always been in love with his best friend, but also developed feelings for Peggy later on (hence following the MCU’s events), because I don’t really believe that everyone can only fall in love with one person at a single time @w@ But you can still read this without that in mind, I think. It's just that the Peggy/Steve scene in the movie broke something in me ):


End file.
